Cookie Connections: Conversation and Cribbage

This photo isn’t an ad, but it should be! (I’m looking at you Pepperidge Farm!) I discovered the fantastic combination of coffee and Carmel Macchiato Milano cookies this past week while my mom was up for a visit. It is the best pairing of flavors!! Over rousing games of cribbage, we enjoyed our coffee, cookies, and conversation.


Conversation memories..

It made me remember the times from my youth when I would feel down or upset, or just wanted to talk, that she would put me in the car, and we would drive to our local Dairy Queen for a couple of soft serve ice cream cones and sit in the parking lot and just talk. We would talk about everything and anything during those times, and something about being outside of the four walls of my home made me feel a little more relaxed to share things with her, as you would a friend, versus through the power dynamic that is mothers and daughters.


Two-way talk..

The wonderful thing about those conversations was that we both shared. There were times she wanted to talk to me, and so we would get our cones, park in our usual spot, and talk to each other. She would share things she was feeling, I would listen. She would ask what I thought. It was an amazing feeling to know that my mother wanted my thoughts and advice sometimes. It made me feel that I was important to her, and that I had something of value she wanted me to share with her.


Trust bonds..

What I didn’t know then that I know now, is that through those conversations we were not only talking through whatever problem or issue we were facing, but we were building trust between us and strengthening the bonds of connection.


Connection through conversation..

If you are reading (or have read) “What Happened To You?” by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey, you know that one of the main keys to building resilience is through connection. This concept has created a major shift in the way I think about resilience. I used to think that building resilience was a solitary endeavor. That it was something I had to forge myself through the fires of adversity. However, through reading the book I have learned that it is through the sharing of experience with, being present for, and being seen by, others we truly become emotionally supported and resilient individuals.


Best listen to Brene’..

Sharing our stories with those that have earned the privilege of our vulnerability is the key to connectedness. It is the way we can bring more joy, contentment, and resiliency into our lives.  You get what you give in this life. Do you want more connectedness? More joy? A fuller life experience? Then, as Brene’ Brown says, you have to get in the arena.


Take charge..

How do you show up for your life? What connections can you build up to bring more joy to you and those around you? Not sure? Pour yourself a cup of coffee, get some cookies, and have a conversation with someone. It can be as simple as that.

~Vickie


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